One year

I’ve been thinking about today for a bit now, and I’m still at a loss as to what to say.  Today marks the one year anniversary of the pumpkin.  As in most significant things in life, the time that has passed since that day seems so abstract.  I still clearly remember sitting in the courtroom, holding Ben’s hand, being handed Kleenex by the clerk, going to breakfast afterwards and buying plants.  Plants, I may add, that are still mostly with me today.  Anyway, there’s really nothing profound or interesting I have to say about this, just that it has now been a year. 

On a lighter note, the ladies in my family and I spent this past weekend together in Milwaukee.  We — Jane, Stacy, Terry, Maggie, my mama & I — met up at a very nice Marriott downtown (I know the Marriott is Mormon-owned, but it was sooooo nice and they sold wine) on Friday evening.  We had dinner at a pub down the street (I had an amazing grilled cheese — three kinds of cheese, avocado, bacon & tomato) and watched the awesomely exciting Badger game  game back at the hotel.  On Saturday, we got going and had an early lunch because we were all booked for spa treatments at a spa in Whitefish Bay.  So nice!  I had the world’s best manicure (it came with a back massage) and facial (it came with basically a full-body massage).  My facialist was a little nutty, though.  In addition to telling me not to panic that I wasn’t married — apropros of nothing — she made me guess how many years she had been married (40) and what product has the most irritants in it (soap).  Anyway, that night we had a lovely dinner (on the way to which Terry found $100!!) and the next morning a lovely brunch — both on the east side.  Lots of meals!  I think I really like Milwaukee.  She and I just need to get to know each other better.  All in all, it was a really great weekend and I hope that we can do it again next year.  Though maybe not on the first weekend of the NCAA tournament.

This is a super boring post.  Does anyone have anything interesting to share?  Stephanie is due today and she still hasn’t popped.  It’s funny because two or so weeks ago she was saying how she just wanted it over; she was very ready to be done being preggers.  While I think I totally understand that feeling, it also must be scary because it’s not like once you’re “done” with that, you’re done.  It’s really just the beginning.  It’s like Gwen said, you run for president and win.  Then you have to be president.

The pumpkin is final

And I have been crying a lot.  Ben and I went to the hearing this morning and had to wait a few moments for the woman before us to get her pumpkin.  She had an attorney and no husband present.  When she finished, it was our turn and we held hands as we walked forward.  The judge kindly told us we could sit together at a counsel table.  I cried and cried and Ben worried I’d be held in contempt.  I wasn’t and the judge gave us the pumpkin.  I suppose we should both feel a little relieved since now all the paperwork nonsense and public work is done (except for all the name change stuff), but it just feels draining and sad.  I am so proud of us, though, in how we have handled this and I try so hard to take comfort knowing that Ben will always be one of my favorite people and I am so proud to call him my friend.  He’s really a gem, someone to treasure.

After getting the pumpkin, we went to get breakfast.  It’s not the easiest thing in the world to find a place to get breakfast on a Monday morning when you’re not accustomed to such an adventure.  We found Hubbard Avenue to be satisfactory and lucky for us we did because who was sitting next to us!?  Kirk Penney.  At least we’re almost sure it was he.  He was very tall and handsome and Ben swears he detected a Kiwi lilt.  He ate oatmeal with lots of raisins and maybe some milk.  After breakfast, we went to a greenhouse to pick out some plants.  Since Ben took his peace lily out of my home, he thought I could use some new greenery.  So, despite the fact that it is his birthday today, he bought me some cute plants: a shamrock of some sort, a jade plant and a wee tiny palm.  (Again, Ben is a gem.)  I’m so excited to have them!  I just hope I can keep them going.  As some may recall, one of my New Years’ resolutions was to tend to a plant and keep it alive for an undefined amount of time.  With three new plants, I’m hoping at least one of them sticks with me.

March madness, anyone?  My bracket is going ok.  It’s surprising how nervous I get about it even though no money is riding on it and, frankly, no pride.  I get broken up when, say, I see Butler going out since I had them in the Elite Eight.  Go Badgers!

I’m getting a pumpkin

I told myself (and possibly others) that I was not going to use this place to talk about my personal life.  Not that there’s much to talk about, but I really wanted to refrain from doing that because a) it’s boring and b) it makes me sad.  But it has been explained to me recently that talking about things isn’t always a bad thing.  So, I’m going to do a little exploration of my thoughts and feelings on stuff that’s going on in my life and we’ll see how it goes.

First off, I like There Will Be Blood more and more each day.  And not just because doing a Daniel Day-Lewis impression with Kristin is one of my new favorite hobbies.  I guess I just can’t get that Daniel Plainview character out of my mind.  While I thought I liked NCFOM more, I’m just not sure anymore.  TWBB will not leave me alone.

Second, I think that maybe if we didn’t have to call it a “divorce,” I wouldn’t tear up every other second.  Maybe we could call it something kinder, softer, like a pumpkin.  Not that a pumpkin is soft really (except for the ones I made Heather keep in our locker — being festive and all — from October till we cleaned out our locker in June), but it’s got such a nice sound.  Pumpkin.  As many children are, I was called pumpkin by my parents when I was young.  In third grade, Mrs. Cerrato gave us some sort of questionnaire in which she asked us to tell her our nicknames.  I wrote, “Pumpkin,” thinking nothing of it.  Later, she called me to her desk and said, “Is that right?  That’s adorable!”  Well, I was mortified and took the questionnaire back to my desk, erased “Pumpkin” and wrote in “Kateski.”  I certainly showed her.

Anyway, so I was thinking, maybe if I could just refer to it as a pumpkin, it might take some of the pain out it.  At least it’s worth a try.